“Don’t be busybody!”

“Don’t be busybody, mind your own business!”

How many times have we heard a parent tell that to a child when s/he wants to lend a hand to a stranger? I witnessed it today on my way out when this mum chided her daughter for being “busybody” as the girl offered to keep the lift door open for an elderly.

Don’t we always teach our children to have good manners, be respectful and stay helpful? Isn’t it then incongruent to tell the child that s/he is being a ‘busybody’ when s/he is merely practising what was taught? I thought it was bad enough when parents do not practice what they preach. Today’s incident just made me realise that it is worse when the child does not receive validation for a positive act. This confuses the child, “Mummy, so do I help or do I not?”.

Practice makes perfect; and children, being intelligent little people, would learn best when they continuously do what adults say they should. Never mind the moral education we have in school or at home. Just tell them that they are being “busybody” each time they do a good deed and in no time, they would grow up to be self-centered individuals who have little awareness of other people’s needs. Alright, that view is some kind of extreme. In a less extreme sense, this child would probably grow up feeling embarrassed about showing care and concern for others. Like each time they want to give up their seat (e.g. in the bus) to someone else, there is this little voice which says, “don’t be busybody!” – Just like how a parent would put down a child when the little boy/girl wants to show some love to a stranger.

So, would you like your child be a “busybody”?

Filed under: Random Doodle, The lovely child

Exciting

An exciting new beginning awaits…

Filed under: Live Out Loud!

:(

Don’t self-defeating thoughts just engulf you at times?

I cannot stop telling myself that I am lousy. A very lousy sister at times.

It was a concoction of worry, anxiety and a short temper. Whenever this issue surfaces, I cannot help but be anxious and impatient..

I wonder if it’s a natural instinct of the older sibling to want to protect her younger bro/sis. So much that this instinct to love and care may become a sign of being over-protective. Sometimes, the anxiety is too much.

I need to trust my brother to be independent. Not just sometimes, but at all times.  And he is. It just isn’t justifiable for me to deprive him of individuality/independence just to relieve my anxiety. I need to let go.

I feel lousy..

I wanna just disengage.

For now.

Filed under: I am sad :(, Random Doodle

Goodbye July!!

July has been one busy month. So fleeting were the days in July, I can hardly recall how much time was spent on relaxation.

What have I been busy with?

1. Rachel’s wedding

No, that guy isn’t Rachel’s husband. And yeah, I have been busy in late June and early July helping rachel tie up the loose ends with the jiemeis’ attire. The day was a frantic one but we all enjoyed the frenzy. Tears of happiness were shed because most of us here have journeyed with Rach and XK through their courtship days till the day they tie the knot!

2. My new hairstyle

Yes yes. I got my hair curled earlier this month. To me, spending 3 hours on my hair is really a lot a lot a lot a lot of time. And so, that contributes to part of my busyness.

3. The Great Singapore Sale!!!

Oh yeah. I love GSS. That’s because this is the time when I get more motivation buying stuffs I would usually think twice over. But shopping is still shopping is still shopping. I will perhaps feel less stressed up with retail therapy but never less tired because shopping saps my energy. So shopping time isn’t really time for rest.

 

4. Getting free movie treats

I must be really in luck this month. I’ve got 2 free trips to the movies this month. The first was when Cathay celebrated its 75th birthday and the other was when yuhan got free tickets from her aunt who works in some dutch bank. So I got 2/3 of my movie wishes fulfilled. Inception, check. Karate Kid, check. Next on, Despicable Me. By the way, Inception is really good. I would not mind watching it a second time.

5. Ballet Under the Stars

The Man got us tickets to this annual event. We had fun preparing for the picnic. Baking potato wedges, preparing sandwiches, jellies and drinking the 烧豆奶 Soya Bean Drink. The drink always reminds us of the dinners we used to have in PGP. HEEHEE.

Ok la, actually it was more than just Ballet Under the Stars. We also hung out in other festivals/events like the Night Fest 2010. We are quite sedentry  (e.g. spending several consecutive weekends slacking at home). But we are also suckers for festivals. So special events like this would make up a part of our dates. And July happens to have lots of happening events!!!! SO, no rest!

6. Recurring QLC

Yah lah. Quarter life crisis returns to haunt me once again. This month, I did some serious thinking about my options. I am so so so glad that I have a better idea of the possible routes I may wanna take. Previously, I was pretty shrouded by far too many considerations. Having spent much time reading up and talking to The Man about it, I think it is time for me to decide.

7. Meeting up with friends

Being a people-person, meeting up with friends is important for me. But the busyness in July kind of made me feel so tired and restless after each gathering. I will resolve to not go out with any friend for the whole of August. Ok, i will TRY. Maybe go out every fortnightly? I need a little more rest.

10. Library Book Sale and World Cyber Games Championships

I haven’t found time to read the books I grabbed from the sale. And I haven’t had time to tidy them up. WCG was an accompaniment to the Lib Book Sale. I went for WCG for fun. Joined some competitions. Played some games and got a goodie bag.

9. A busy June!

Ah-hah! As I review my July, I realise that restless July was brought about by a hectic June. Without having time to rest, I charged into July. Let me review what happened in June… Hmm, mid-late June to be exact.

Yep yep. Camp Lions, the annual leadership camp for buddhist youths. They roped in the NUSBS alumni to conduct a series of workshops for them. And so the DharmaRoundTable was busy meeting up to discuss about the workshop. I noticed that our (DRT) chemistry improved. Met some interesting people in camp. And I found out that Ubin has lots of funny-looking insects/plants!

 

HY came to SG in late June and hence, the primary sch gang convened. We had a great time catching up!

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I need to rest, I really do. And I am glad tomorrow’s an off day. I am gonna wake up early (cross fingers) and spend time reading. Reading up on Bali, reading up on further education, reading up on Satir’s techniques. Meditate, exercise, rest. The body and mind needs a break.

Good bye, July!

Hello August! See you in 5 days!

Filed under: Random Doodle

Dreams

“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.” ~ Chris Gardner, The Pursuit of Happyness

Filed under: Live Out Loud!, Random Doodle

“School should be happy”

I woke up this morning, logged into facebook and saw a friend posted a series of a documentary titled “Children Full of Life”. The next 50 minutes were amazing for me – watch the video, I say. I always have a passion for children and it is my belief that children should be given a childhood that allows them to learn lessons for life through play so that they may be effective leaders of their own lives as they grow up.

While the family system is the first crucial interpersonal environment for children, the school yet another system which has importance in cultivating the hearts and minds of children.

That’s video 1 of 5, watch the rest by clicking on the video above

The video-documentary captures how a primary school teacher, Mr Toshiro Kanamori, teaches his students about death, friendship, leadership and responsibility. He also laid a safe and secure environment for the children to share with utmost comfort. Above all, he taught these little ones how to love.

What struck me most was his ability to elicit empathy in his students and then teaching them how they may deal with these feelings. He also made learning so exciting for the children by letting them take ownership of the issues. There were some incidents when you see confusion in the children’s faces, however, Kanamori persisted in letting them learn through personal effort.  And of course, he always did it with lots of compassion by facilitating the learning without too much handholding. That’s where learning begins – when realisation occurs.

The lesson learnt from this documentary is invaluable.  Perhaps many teachers (or teacher-wannabes) out there would be skeptical of how Kanamori’s method would work in most schools. That’s pretty true. Teachers probably do not have that luxury of time to build rafts with their children or to spend days teaching about school-bullying but I always believe in flexibility and improvisation. With passion and belief, you allow dreams to live. Teaching ain’t your passion? Make that experience come true for your own children!

“The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things” ~ Plato

Filed under: Random Doodle, The lovely child

Money?

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.

- George Santayana

I have recently been more in touch with financial-related issues because as I enter the working world, I feel a greater need to be more financial-savvy and to know the different ways to make my money work. Reason being, while I do not want to be sapped into the trap of being too greedy for cash, I do not want to let my money sit quietly in the bank, earning interest rates which can only get me some sweets from the mama shop at the end of the year.

Some people think that being in touch with your spirituality means that you have to shun away from money. I think this is a gravely wrong misconception. Unless you have no plans to set up a family, no single thought of materialism and you plan to renounce, I say that it is important to plan your finances, learn to manage your cash and do some retirement planning.

Think. If you were to see yourself in ten years’ time, what figure would you like to see in your bank account. Tough? Think of the kind of life you would like to lead. Would you want to be worried over bread and butter issues or would you like to be able to live life comfortably without having to hesitate about occasional luxury?

If you are really not into this ‘i-want-some-luxury-every-now-and-then’ idea, it’s perfectly alright. Would you like to retire early? I would! And do you feel indignant that the money you lazily park in your bank can actually be put into better use without a lot of effort? All you need to is to read up on the financial instruments available and choose what pleases you according to your risk profile. Remember, knowledge is not power; applied knowledge is.

I am a Social Worker and it is mainly because of the nature of my job that helps me to see the infinite possibilities as well as the sufferings of people without proper financial planning. I see the value of setting aside some cash every month to make it grow. And to set aside another portion in your bank as liquid cash that can be readily tapped on. I do not believe in depriving myself of good food (yummy!) and other comfort stuffs just because I want to make my spare cash grow.

If you are ready to receive some inheritance and you think it is not important to think about letting your money grow, then it is a grave mistake. You have to learn to first manage your own finances before you are ready to take on a bigger responsibility.

I am not the best person who can tell you about financial freedom because I am still learning. But I think it is important for people to know about the need to so something about your finances, especially when you realise that:

1. You are spending more than you earn.

2. You are spending what you earn.

I do not agree with some speakers who tell you that your money works for you without you doing much. That is wrong wrong wrong. Your money will work for you if you invest but you really need to do lots of homework before plunging in. Without sound knowledge, one is playing with fire. Take it as purchasing a newest gadget, the latest dress or even a car. Would you pay before you know the specs, found out about the best deals or even understood its function? If the answer is NO, then you should adopt the same mindset when you invest. Read, talk to people, seek mentors, try it out on your own, reap the rewards.

With all being said, money is not the path to happiness. It merely helps you to create better conditions for living and conducive environments to pursue your dreams. Never be sucked into the money-making trap. Life will never be meaningful if one accumulates cash as a means to an end. At the end of your life, or even mid-way through, who would you like to have as company? What would you like to achieve? What kind of stories would you like to tell?

May you always be blessed with all things good..!

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Filed under: Live Out Loud!, Money and Inve$tment

I Came to Live out Loud

I have been feeling weirdness bouncing in me lately. I am feeling that way because there is just so much confusion, excitement, aimlessness and aspirations all mashed up together in my little mind. The descriptions are probably an oxymoron because I seem to be experiencing contradictory emotions/thoughts all at the same time.

Is this what we call the quarter life crisis? Yes, I guess. This is the time when I want to accomplish so many things but I do not know where to begin from and which to start off with. There are just so many limitations which are also hindering me from making decisions. Or am I having self-defeating thoughts.

One of the reasons why I have been taking a break from blogging is because I need to have some time to journal about my QLCrisis. It is something like talking to myself, just that no one would see me as crazy if I do that ‘self-talk’ in a cafe. Private time aside, I think I am being plainly evasive. Evading from commitment, evading from decision. When I journal, I am free to write about anything and everything and I do not feel a strong urge to do something about it (read: no motivation). I give myself too much leeway. *Grins* Blogging, on the other hand, makes it important for me to take concrete action. I think because this feels as if I have told a friend about it and I need to take action – or my credibility would be at stake.

Some time last month, I have been telling people that I feel like a damaged compass in which the needle rotates violently without knowing where to point to. I was surprised when I came out with that metaphor, because it was impromptu but it clearly reflects my state of mind. And so, I have decided that I have to take the first step or I will just be lamenting about my situation without doing much. The first step was taken last week. Of course, I am still exploring other pathways. The needle is slowing down…it is beginning to figure out where the right direction is, for now.

I came across this quote today:

If you ask me what I came to life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.
~ Emile Zola

I want to live out loud. In my own way. To lead a life of meaning, one which I would look back and be able to recount the many many moments of inspiration – for me, for those lives I touched and for my children.

Filed under: Live Out Loud!